Letting Go of the Past
Letting go is simply making a decision no longer to allow something from
the past to influence your life now or to reduce your inner sense of peace
and well-being. So all we need to do is to let go of the beliefs and
attitudes that prevent us from experiencing the joy of the moment. The
problem comes in identifying exactly what that means; we have so many beliefs that prevent us
from being in the here and now, from being content and peaceful within.
would you like to change in your personal life?
dreams are you aspiring to, but hold back from doing because of a past
belief or set of circumstance which causes negative thinking for you?
are you holding onto that you know is not for you anymore?
relationship has troubled you?
big change are you avoiding? Are you feeling more comfort in unhappy
familiarity rather than delving into unknown territories?
career changes, perhaps even a total change of direction, could bring about
time to let go of the past, to release that which no longer serves our
growth, and to rebuild upon a new foundation. We are all healers, and
this is a great opportunity to transform our lives in a way that will
nourish our soul.
need not be guilty of creating a life of happiness. There is no need
to hurt those who have limited us in freeing ourselves. And, in some
cases, we may need to break free from a career, a job, a relationship, or
even family in order to create the life we want. However, most
letting go is not usually burning a bridge, but often letting go is an
inside job: letting go might mean changing our belief pattern, a way
we process emotion, or how we view life.
is important to take inventory of our positives and negatives prior to ever
making a decision to let go of the past. I recommend getting out a
notebook and writing these lists down.
and what is affecting us positively? Who and what is affecting us
negatively? If a person, job, or family member -- even a lover -- is
putting us down frequently, then we may be wise to address the issue with
them and/or either create change in that relationship or distance ourselves
way to let go of the past is to remove or revise our expectations that
Letting Go Of The Past
Healing Without Hate:
How to Forgive to Live, is a ten step process that will help you
become free to let go of the past and live the life that is intended for
you. It has always been my
belief that everyone was placed on this earth for a purpose.
It is important for one to find out what their meaning in life is, so
they can develop their message and then ultimately carry out their mission
(purpose). How can you grow as
a person or a business if you dont know what your purpose is?
I learned to love others
unconditionally and began to put into place and practice steps, to help my
life become victorious and not to remain a victim. I have used the following steps to increase both my business
and professional life in overcoming issues of the past.
Step 1: Prayer.
I pray for those who have hurt or abused me, and I pray for guidance.
I have also learned it is very difficult to hate someone that you are
Counsel. I reached out
and received help when I realized I needed it.
Step 3: Confront.
At the proper time, I went to those I had harmed or had harmed me individually and
confronted them and how they had effected my life.
We must learn to confront the people in our lives that have hurt us
or that we have hurt.
Step 4: Release.
Once I confronted my past and my pain, I then had to learn to let it
Step 5: Forgive.
Forgiving is a big step in the healing process.
We must also face whether we have pardoned someone with
complete forgiveness or paroled them, where the forgiveness has
Step 6: Attitude.
You must have an attitude of gratitude for the good things in your
life while you are going through the healing process.
Do not concentrate on just the negative.
Its very difficult to be depressed when you are counting your
Step 7: Joy.
It is a decision to have joy on the inside while you experience
happiness on the outside (circumstances around you).
Step 8: Goals.
You must write down what you want to accomplish.
If you dont it will just be a dream.
No one plans to fail, they just fail to plan.
Step 9: Give.
No matter where you are in life, theres always someone that could
use your help. Reach out and
help someone with your time and or resources.
Step 10: Live
Life Now. Dont wait until
tomorrow because tomorrow is not promised to you.
It is my firm belief that if we make up our minds that
we are not going to let the past control our future, we can learn to break
down the walls of hurt and pain that hinder us from forgiving others and
living fulfilled lives personally and professionally.
Holding on to pain and hatred causes anger and bitterness.
Anger and bitterness cause stress and anxiety, these emotions can
cause a variety of other health problems.
I know that it is possible to embrace happiness, experience joy, and
have success. The choice is
truly up to you!
Letting Go Of The Past To Re-Parent
Inside every individual exists a powerful capacity for healing and
transformationto stand up for the true self. To accomplish this we have
to free ourselves from the past story. When we release old hurts, we grow
from that suffering and learn to recognize happiness. In other words, we let
go to hold more! If the past has been painful, we must stop reliving it,
playing the part of the victim in the story over and over again. Every time
we relive a memory, especially a past argument, or an old hurt, we keep it
alive in our spirits and in our bodies. For example, when I think about an
argument I had with a friend many years ago, my heart will race, my face
will flush and my stomach will tense up as though it were happening now. Not
everyone is fortunate to have loving parents who are perfect and reasonable,
like on TV.
Some of us were physically and mentally abused as
children. Some of us were neglected and emotionally abandoned as children.
Therefore it is time to change the story and re-parent the self! We are no
longer children who are economically and physically dependent on our
parents. We had no choice as a child, but we do now
When we re-parent the self, we send a message to the
mind and body that we are worth it, that we are special and that we deserve
love. When a child is abused, he or she lives in a dark place where there is
no room to breathe or feel. This child grows up lacking self-esteem, feeling
worthless and always looking for approval from parents and outside sources.
Often the abuse experienced in childhood gets repeated in adult life using
different characters: a lover, a boss or even a so-called friend. The adult
continues to play the victim, hardly ever assuming responsibility for
failures. The boss doesnt like me, My wife demands things I
cant afford, My co-worker set me up.
Therefore in order to break the cycle, one has to shed
the past story and create the present story. In the new story the abused
child is determined not just to survive, but to thrive. He or she assumes
responsibility for actions, is committed to health and fitness, and finds
the way to realize limitations while cultivating capabilities. Easier said
than done? Well, saying it and thinking it is a good beginning. Everyday one
has to make a commitment to positive thinking. It is neither the win nor the
loss that makes a person triumphant, only the feelings and perception one
has regarding the self. Positive perception and self-affirmation is the
first step to personal empowerment: I am good enough.
The next step is believing that one is lucky. Yes,
lucky! The opposite perception of the victim. When one is lucky, even when
one fails, he or she learns from failure or suffering to succeed in the
future. When one is lucky he or she sees opportunities where other people do
not even think to look. In some of my wellness workshops I have heard cancer
survivors admit to the group, I am lucky to have had cancer
because now I know how to live and I really appreciate life! A lucky
person feels empowered and in control. When one believes in the self, he or
she can banish self-doubts, persist in set goals, and clear the path for
There is a Zen story of a great general who was
fighting a terrible battle where his troops were outnumbered ten to one. The
soldiers were frightened convinced that they would lose because they were
physically outnumbered. The general turned to his men and announced that he
would flip his magic coin. If it fell on heads, they would fight. If it fell
on tails, they would return home. The general tossed the coin in the air and
it fell on heads. The men felt that destiny was on their side, fought
valiantly and won. Afterwards, the second in command discussed the event
with the general, delighted that fortune smiled on their little army. The
general handed the coin over to him. The second in command saw that it was
heads on both sides. Because the men believed in their luck, they were
In addition to positive belief and the elimination of
negative self-talk, we need to live in balance. That means eating balanced
meals, drinking plenty of water, and avoiding sugar, fat and processed
foods. Also, we need to get seven or eight hours sleep to reset our
biological clocks daily and regenerate cells. Most importantly we need to do
some physical exercise every day to build up strength, stamina and focus.
When we exercise, we are empowered people of substance. We will not feel
trapped, paralyzed or allow ourselves to be abused because now we have
strengthened our bones, muscles, heart and lungs. A sound mind needs a sound
body. By living in balance physically and emotionally, we shed stress. An
abused child often grows up to be a short-fused adult who experiences stress
and irritability more easily than others. Exercise relieves stress by
burning up stress hormones, releasing endorphins and oxygenating the brain
to think more clearly. Exercise also returns one to the present moment and
away from the past!
Lastly, after one eats balanced meals, gets his sleep
and exercise, one can create inner peace through meditation. A simple
five-minute meditation to music can help one get in touch with the still
point. Through meditation one relaxes the heart, lowers blood pressure and
restores loving feelings to the soul. Begin meditation by breathing deeply
through the nose to your own rhythm. I recommend inhaling two counts, and
exhaling four counts. That way you exhale more toxins. By focusing your
attention on your breath, you redirect your mind to the present. When you
close your eyes to meditate, you just watch your thoughts float by and do
not judge them. Sometimes you will receive guidance through an image, a
color, a word, or later in a dream. Some people like to meditate on a
passage from the Bible or a literary work. So, before you begin to meditate,
you might want to read a quote or affirmation and then think about it while
you are breathing with your eyes closed.
Living in balance physically, emotionally and
spiritually is the source of energy and joy. Be kind to yourself everyday
and create personal time and space. If you are too busy, then get rid of
some of your activities, prioritize. We have compassion for others, even our
pets. Make sure that you have compassion for yourself.
Taking Responsibility for Our Own Lives
One of the worst attitudes is Things happen to me, not from me
but to me; a degree of victim mentality. At any level we really need
to accept the full responsibility for whatever happens to us.
Or we can take the responsibility to accept that
what happened to us five minutes ago is no longer of any importance because
that was five minutes ago and this is now. If we are holding onto the
incident, we continue to hurt ourselves. What happens subsequently
is important but not what happened in itself. Something happens, and
it sets off a sequence of events. So let go of the bit that happened back
there and deal with the bit in the sequence that is actually
The important thing is not holding on to anything
any longer than it actually lasts. In
reality, all we need to do
is experience the learning and move on immediately.
Learning from Experience
Sometimes we convince ourselves that we
need to hold on in order to extract the learning from it. If you are
repeating big patterns, you can retain the memory in terms of what not to do
next time, but not the emotional content it aroused in you. Thus you can get
the maximum amount of learning but ultimately thats still part of the
letting go process. If its a traumatic experience thats teaching you a
lot, keep it as something to learn from, while letting go of your attachment
to it, let go of it emotionally. Thats the basis of letting go of our
beliefs and attitudes that anything happens to us, that we are a victim of
Life is a series of choices of how to
behave. Often we make these choices automatically, without really being
aware of what we are choosing or why. But no matter what anyone does in any
aspect of their life, it is still a choice they have made. And, of course,
in making choices we also make mistakes. It is from those mistakes that we
learn about ourselves and others. And we learn how to make different choices
next time if we remain open to the process of making mistakes. But one thing
stops us learning from choices and that is fear. Fear of judgement and
criticism, which is usually felt as shame or guilt.
So the second thing we have
to let go of is all of our judgements and values and ideas of what should be
or what shouldnt be. We should have no values, no judgements, no morals,
no criticisms, no ideas of what is or should or shouldnt be. None at all.
Because if we have an idea of what is or what should or shouldnt be we
are making a judgement on something that is as it is, as God or as the
Universe intended. It is as it is, and it is perfect as it is for the people
who are involved in that scenario. That applies to us in our lives, but
because it is a principle it applies equally to the people in a war crisis,
for instance. And thats where the understanding becomes really difficult
to accept. You may say, Hold on, this is not right but it is, its
right for them, and Ill go back to a previous point. The angrier
everybody gets about a situation, the worse it gets. This is not at all
pleasant or emotionally intelligent but judging wont improve it either;
it will make it worse. If everybody stops being angry about a situation it
disappears; the war will not happen.
Keeping Neutral, Learning Acceptance
If we see something and make a
judgement or a criticism about it we are adding our angry energy to
that situation. We are actually increasing it. If we collectively say,
What is happening in this war or that country now is terrible, we are
adding to the energy of that event; we are making it worse for the people in
it. What we need to do is to stay completely neutral and know the highest
truth i.e. what is happening there is as it should be for those people,
Weve all been through
equivalent experiences one way or another, so weve got to let go of the
idea that its right or wrong; thats just the way it is for those
people. The most important point to make here is that making choices is not
making a judgement. It is just saying, choose not to behave in this
way. Eventually, if we allow everybody to learn without fear, then the
mistakes stop being so terrible and the results stop being too damaging and
dramatic on individuals and society. But it has to happen that way round
that we suspend the judgement before others stop doing whatever we
originally judged. We cannot expect them to stop before we stop judging.
What we can do is make our
own structure for the choices we would make but without saying we are right,
and that is wrong. It is saying this is what we would do as far as we know
at this moment. Period. Not that its right or wrong.
So what if we saw an old lady
being mugged in the street? Should we just walk on?
No. If possible, and not to
the detriment of your own safety, you can choose to intervene with the
action but what you mustnt do is add your judgement or criticism to it.
You must not judge either party involved. That is the tricky bit. Saying
thats not my choice of behaviour but I accept their right to do that
and I will intervene because that is my choice. We have to accept the
consequence of that choice, which might be that you get mugged.
People and Behaviour are not the Same
Something that gives a depth of
understanding is to recognize that the action is not the person. You can say
that action is not good, but the person is perfect, they are perfect in as
far as they have got in their own learning about life. We cannot possibly
see what the master plan for the Universe is, so if we start judging and
criticizing we are saying we know better than God, the universe, energy or
whatever, and we dont. We have to let go of the assumption that we know.
The trouble with a little bit
of enlightenment, a little bit of spiritual awareness, is that you suddenly
get into a kind of spiritual judgementalism: I know, and you lot all
dont. Its a very difficult ego state to get out of. Eventually you
do get kicked out of it because you realize that youre not that much
different to them. You just realize a little bit more of what youre
learning next, youre a bit more aware of it. Its very important not to
assume that we have some greater understanding.
All spiritual teachings
include a section about not judging because to do so would be hypocritical.
None of us has always got it right, or, should I say, made the best choices.
But if we learn from it and dont repeat it that is the most anyone can
So we do have to separate the
behaviour from the person and take that to the highest levels, such as a war
crisis, which appears so horrendous. We can choose to keep our thoughts out
of it and know that that situation will heal itself when everybody has
learnt what they can.
Becoming More Emotionally Intelligent Helps the
If we replace judgemental values with a
sense of our self-worth, and how we wish to express that essence of us to
the rest of the world, we choose to live in a way that helps to heal
ourselves and other people. We accept it in a way that is unconditionally
accepting of ourselves and of other people, so we drop our barriers in order
to help heal the world. We help to heal everything in the rest of the world
by dropping our sense of what is right or wrong. There is a fine line
between making a decision about how to behave and making a criticism or
judgement of behaviour in others. Once you can see where it is, you can stay
on the one side of it. Just consider for a moment how differently you
respond if you feel critically judged compared with being accepted as you
are. That applies to the whole universe too.
Fixed Ideas of What Will Be
The next thing is expectations of
outcome: if I do this, then that will happen. Our disappointment is always
based on what we think should have happened or what we hoped would happen or
what we thought the other person should do. It is never based on what has
actually happened, it is based on our disappointment that what we wanted
didnt occur. So we want to control the universe, thinking we know better
than God etc. again. If we decide what we think should happen is right we
are getting back into judgements. But God is neutral. It doesnt say,
You are bad because you made that mistake today and you are good because
you did that. God acknowledges: You are learning, you are going in the
right direction and doing the best that you can do at any time and
thats what we need to start working from.
My understanding is that God
is the supreme intelligence but is also an evolving consciousness, and as
our consciousness evolves we contribute to the evolution of
God-consciousness. We are all God, or spirit, having a human experience and
when we raise our consciousness individually we are also, in a collective
way, raising God-consciousness, because we are all God anyway. That is the
point of creativity; that is the point of intelligence. Evolution occurs as
a result of intelligence, not the other way round. So if God-consciousness
is the ultimate intelligence that lets go without judgement, then we have
got to emulate that by letting go without any judgement or questioning about
God lets us go where we want,
to expand our consciousness, including making some stupid mistakes and
making some wonderful discoveries in human terms. If we are allowed to do
that, so then is everyone else.
Interconnectedness and the Oneness
Why is it important for us to raise our
consciousness and let go of our beliefs in order to help everyone else comes
back to the connectedness of everything in the universe?
Some people want to move and
grow faster and others grow more slowly. All travel. Some are trying to slow
the others down and some are trying to speed the others up, but whatever
each one does affects the others next to it. We are all units of vibrating
energy, according to quantum physics. So our emotional energy will affect
the people around us. Miserable people are a drain on us; we call them a
drag, and they are dragging our energy down. We want to vibrate more
lightly, more harmoniously, and they are slowing us down. By lifting our
vibrations through our self-development, and releasing our sense of
judgements, criticism and control, we are actually allowing everybody else
around us to speed up as well. So ultimately we have one responsibility and
that is to raise our consciousness sufficiently to help raise the other ones
around us. So we have to choose to let go of the illusions of what was or
what will be, of right or wrong, and to increase our vibrations. And then we
automatically raise the vibrations of those around us.
The final belief that we need
to let go of is that our individual humanhood really matters. Everything
will be as it is. It doesnt matter how it is because however it is and
wherever it is going it will get there because it cant not. Probably
where its going doesnt matter because there isnt a decision about
where its going to go. There is no limit to where its going to go. If
you decide its going to go from here to there you are
immediately placing a limit on where it can go to, but it doesnt matter
where its going. So we have to let go of the idea that humanhood really
matters. We are in it and it is part of our experience and we do have to
live with our feet in both human and spiritual worlds but we have got to let
go of the idea that this matters.
Changing Ones Perceptions
One of the best ways to deal with this
is to think, will I feel this stressed about this situation tomorrow, or
next week, or next year or in five years time?, and the answer is
usually no, not if you let it go. If you go straight to that feeling of
detachment and let go of what I am feeling now, it becomes much more
Try using these statements in
control what is happening in the world;
I can say
loud and clear that I want this or that to happen;
accept that if it doesnt, there is some good reason for it though I
cant see what that might be;
God and I dont know what that good reason is now, but if I remain open
then I will find it;
I have to
let go of what I think it should be and I will find it is far better.
So weve got to get away
from what we think things ought to be and get to our free will. Our free
will is our choice and we are affected by the wisdom of our choices. We are
not right or wrong in the choices we make. It may not even be the same
choice for the next day. You might make a different choice, but for that
moment in time it is right and that is the same for everybody. We have to
let go of a sense of being right or wrong and allow things to be as they
are, to accept the process of change in ourselves and others and give each
other the freedom to change and learn without judgement. We have to let go
of our thoughts and learn to listen and wait. We have to let go of our
expectations and let things and people be as they are and we have to let go
of the need to do and simply allow ourselves to grow and change daily.
are the Real Benefits to Me of This Approach to Life?
what is the point of it all? This is easier.
If we learn to let go we acquire a greater sense
of being in the present. A greater sense that our needs actually are being
met, because at any given moment they are, so dont worry about whats
going to happen tomorrow because today everything is fine.
If we let go of expectations and judgements, we
find a sense of calm and inner peace, because we are not in conflict with
what we think should be. We also have a far greater sense of strength, and
respond to the moment instead of the past. Our vulnerability is never in the
moment; its in what we fear will be. Have you ever noticed that you are
usually frightened after or in anticipation of what will happen but very
rarely in the moment? So we get a sense of our strength because we are right
in the here and now. We lose our vulnerability which is based on what if,
not on the here and now.
We have greater acceptance of others and
therefore we make a greater contribution to raising their awareness, a
greater sense of truly going with the flow.
We gain a sense of fun and freedom in all we do.
How often do we go out and dig a hole in the garden and then fill it in
again just for fun? Adults dont often do that, kids do and really enjoy
it but adults dont really do that kind of stuff, they want to be
sensible. But that is what being is, digging holes and filling them in
again, just for the fun of it.
So start thinking about what
youre doing and have fun with it. Its a weird sense of just letting go
and not having a reason for doing something. Do it because you really just
want to. Have you seen how much energy people put into building a
sandcastle, just to watch the sea wash it away? And you may think what a
waste of time, but its not, its a wonderful thing, youre in the
moment, youre there and you just did it for the hell of it. Live all of
your life as if it was building a sandcastle. There can be no better reason
for doing something other than youre enjoying it.
Actually its the best
reason for doing something. Enjoying something is our choice.
Becoming fully immersed in
what youre doing, called mindfulness in Buddhism, is a very good way of
letting go, letting go of all the other stuff around you, so that all your
concentration is based on what youre doing. Youre not making
judgements; youre not having expectations of outcome. The key thing is
that the more we let go of these attributes of victimhood and judgement, the
more we move into our true nature. Living without judgement means living in
a state of being.
Being reveals our true
identity and oneness with creation. It allows us to release concepts of who
we are and allow the spiritual identity to emerge. Being places us beyond
the worlds effects and allows us to live at a different level of
consciousness. It allows us to have without fear of loss, without needing to
control and judge, to live and be truly free.
begin to let all your life become one big let-go experience and then see
what happens next. Allow each day to unfold for you not as you would choose
but to reveal to you your true nature. That is the true meaning of
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in the belly of a Big Fish - Episode 108.
The scientists tell us for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. In our relationship with God for every action there is also a consequence. See how Jonah's life parallels ours when we go contrary to God's will.
meaning and purpose of God's Word - Segment Eight "The Importance of
Brokenness". "Except the grain of wheat falling into the ground die, it abides alone; but if it die, it bears much fruit" (John 12:24) Life is within the grain of wheat. But there is a shell, a very hard shell on the outside. As long as the shell is not split open, the wheat cannot grow.
The question here is not whether life exists inside the shell, but whether the shell on the outside is cracked open.
JACOB; he who wrestled with God - Episode 1022.
Instead of sitting down and trying to work things out with his brother, Jacob responded to conflict in what has become an all too familiar response in contemporary families, he hit the road. He said "I'm out of here. I'm going somewhere else to make a fresh start and leave my problems behind."
There is only one problem with Jacob's plan: no matter where you go, you take yourself. And a big part of self is....................
does God allow Trials in our Lives - Episode 1105. Why does God allow trials in our Lives? (John 12:24-25)
Truly, truly, I say to you, Unless the grain of wheat that falls to the earth dies, it remains alone: But if it dies, it bears much fruit. There are two things you can do when trials, tests or tribulation comes your way.
Message of Isaiah the Prophet - Episode 1029. Isaiah preached for over a period of about 40 years and his message covers just about every theme and doctrine of the Bible. Let us consider six of the Great Statements made in the book of Isaiah and their application to us Today.
& Meditation Series - "for the rest of my Life" offers a plethora of data for the soul in its infinite journey. Its soliloquy is a sublime meditative series of affirmations & thoughts , rooted in eternity. This tree has many branches & multi-colored leaves all flowing in the stream of light , energy & the power of love.
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